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Saloobin

nakakainis ka.
masyado mo akong pinahihirapan eh.
di ko alam kung bakit kailangan ko pang titigan ka,
para malaman mong gusto kita.
tapos titingin ka lang,
tatawa.
ewan ko sayo.
nahihirapan na ako.
pero gusto kong sabihin sayo,
mahal na yata kita?

hindi ko alam kung bakit,
basta ang alam ko manhid ka lang.
napapangiti ako pag kasama kita,
gumagaan mga problema ko,
kaya kahit mahirap ang gawain,
tinutulungan kita, oks lang,
masaya naman ako pagkatapos.
ulol.

nakakainis ka,
masyado na ngang halata,
ipinamumukha mo pang wala kang nakikita.
ang masama pa dito, maya-maya,
malalaman ko na lang,
masyado palang mataas,
para umasang bagay tayo.
mahirap kang abutin, napaisip ako.
ang gusto mo, yung alams na,
ayoko nang banggitin,
basta yung may mukhang maihaharap sa pamilya mo.
wala ata akong ganun.
minus points.
lugi ako. pero hahabol ako para sayo.
hintayin mong maging katulad niya lang ako.
napaka-idealistic mo kasi.
oo, di ko lang talaga mameet requirements mo,

napapatahimik na lang tuloy ako,
kapag nagsasalita ka tungkol sa gusto mong bf.
cge, ilagay mo lang yan sa wishlist,
tutuparin ko yun, ako mismo haharap sayo with honor,
pero sa panaginip lang tayo magkikita ha.
fairy tale ata gusto mo eh.
sabagay existent nga pala siya,
anjan lang pala siya sa tabi-tabi.
ikaw na kaya manligaw para makita ko effort mo,
uso naman ngayon na babae na ang nagbubuhos nang lakas ng loob,

hayy....

nalulungkot ako kasi akala ko
pwede ako,
oo pwede, pwedeng maging kaibigan.
hanggang dun lang.
di ko naman kayang pilitin kang mahalin mo ako,
kaya mas magandang tumahimik na lang.
at ihayag sa insektong ito, oh paper bug, ang nararamdaman ko.


pagsusulat na lang ang magagawa ko,
di ko kayang gayumahin ka,
o mangompontra, dahil wala naman akong mapapala.
di ako karate-rate, o kacompetent versus  sa crush mo.
marami siyang ikalalamang sakin,
ako ewan, nak ng ewan.
di naman daw kasi tayo match.


nalulungkot ako,
dahil in a way, umasa ako.
na baka pwedeng maging tayo, pero...
sa huli, isa lang pala ako sa mga kaibigan mong maituturing.
at hanggang dun na lang.

haha.
kung mababasa mo ito,
wag mo na akong kaawaan.
this may sound pathetic.
okay lang,
dito lang naman ako naglalagay ng mga saloobin ko,

tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay na di kayang i-explain ng physics o chemistry.
at dinadaan na lang sa mas demokratikong pamamaraan,
parang welga lang no, lol.


corny kaya kung didiretsuhin kita.
at ganun din kung didiretsuhin mo ako.
pero wag na, masasaktan lang ako sa maririnig ko.
(pangit ka)
(purita)
(walang sense of humour)
(weirdo)
lahat na.


pero isa lang maipagmamalaki ko,
pag mahal ko, mahal ko.

di ko kayang maging kung sinuman ang nasa puso mo ngayon
di ko magagawang pilitin kang mahalin ako,
di ko magagawang masikipan ka sa ginagalawan mo,
di ko makakayang guluhin pa buhay mo.

eto na naman ako,
nagmamahal,
nasasaktan,
nagsusulat.

matuldukan na nga to.

[Paper Bug]

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